Welcome to wedding season! Well, at least in this country. Aside from lacking a wedding ‘season,’ countries around the globe celebrate nuptials very differently—if somewhat strangely.
For example, only do Westerners believe brides should wear white on their wedding day. Other cultures think wedding gowns should be colorful and vibrant on the big day. In fact, the color white used to be associated with mourning—especially if a woman wore all white, it was because she was mourning her dead husband. This all changed in 1840 when Queen Victoria married Prince Albert; the queen broke the tradition by wearing a white gown, stirring up controversy while simultaneously setting a new trend.
While Western brides sporting white gowns is unusual to other cultures, what about their wacky traditions? There are plenty of them, but here are five countries with the most unconventional of wedding traditions:
China: Crying Constantly
This tradition is probably the tamest, but it’s still odd. One month before a Tujia woman’s nuptials, she must force herself to start crying. She must cry for one hour every day; a few days later the mother must join in, and then the grandmother until every female in the family is crying every day before the wedding. Supposedly it’s an expression of joy, having all of the females cry together in their varying tones creating a beautiful ‘crying marriage song.’ Truthfully, I don’t know anyone who sounds good when they’re crying.
Scotland: Blackening the Bride
This tradition is rather gross and unsanitary. The Scottish take bachelorette parties to the extreme. Instead of getting the bride-to-be trashed, the future bride gets trash thrown at her. It’s called ‘blackening the bride’—before a bride is allowed to marry her groom, she must withstand the public humiliation of having the nastiest things dumped on her head. I mean animal feces and sticky food like molasses; dead fish, curdled milk, and tar—basically anything you can find in a garbage dump. Then, in this smelly state, the bride is taken out for a night of debauchery. Supposedly the point of this tradition is so that a bride is able to endure any amount of humiliation during her marriage. I just hope the bride manages to get clean before her ceremony.
India: Marrying an Animal
This tradition actually has nothing to do with preparing a bride for her wedding day. In India, any girl who is born ugly, with a baby tooth that is already growing, or with a facial disfigurement is said to be possessed by ghosts. The belief here is that if the girl marries an animal (typically a dog or goat), she will rid her body of the demons and ward off any future ghosts or bad luck. There’s even an extravagant wedding ceremony held, though fortunately the girls aren’t expected to—er, ‘lie with the animal’ later on.
Mauritania: Fattening the Bride
In Northwest Africa, for a man to be proud to flaunt his wife and be of ‘high status’ she needs to be large. The more stomach rolls, stretch marks, and overlapping thighs the better. The fatter she is, the wealthier people will believe the man to be because he can afford to feed his wife well. In some parts of Africa, a disturbing ritual called Leblouh requires girls between ages 5 and 15 to go to fat-farms where they are force fed thousands of calories per day to prepare for marriage. This is no laughing matter, as women are beaten if they don’t eat and some develop psychological issues later on. If you still don’t think this sounds that terrible, recall how difficult it can be to eat when you’re already overly full.
Malaysia: Avoiding the Restroom
In Mayalsia, the Tidong people believe the bride and groom should not be allowed to use the restroom for 72 hours prior to the exchange of vows. They are so serious about it that usually family members guard the bathroom to ensure neither of them cheats. Oh, and on top of the torture of not being able to relieve oneself for three whole days (which can’t be healthy in itself) the pair are starved and given minimal water. I suppose in a way this prevents the urge to use the restroom, but still. The Tidongs are superstitious people; they believe this torture, if survived, will lead to good fertility and strong, healthy children. I don’t buy it. Though strangely, I think a little suffering before one’s wedding might be a good thing in the long run; perhaps you’ll think twice before bickering with your spouse so long as you’re both allowed to eat and use the bathroom regularly.
Those last two are tied for the worst for me. Looking back, I’m not sure why all of these traditions are so—pleasant. Perhaps we do weddings best in the U.S! What do you think?
Dr. Mike Malone and his team practice expert cosmetic dentistry in Lafayette, LA. Dr. Malone is the former president and current accredited member of the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry. He is also the official Cosmetic Dentist of the Miss Louisiana USA and Miss Louisiana Teen USA pageants. Check out his website for more information.